How to know if he is planning to leave you?

Ah, dear, you will know it. Your heart will whisper that to you. It will. It always does. But only you can choose whether to listen or not. And so many choose not to because it hurts less. At least in the beginning. At least for a day more you can allow yourself to live in a fairytale. To still live in a dream. For one more moment.

 

But then it comes. Like a storm. All consuming. All destroying.

 

He decides that he doesn’t want to be with you. Maybe he ‘can’t give you want you need,’ or maybe ‘it wasn’t you, it is me.’ No matter what he says, you will think to yourself that nothing had predicted that. Nothing.

 

But then – suddenly – you will remember. For a brief split second you will remember what you felt that Monday afternoon in a coffee shop when he was so irritated about everything you were telling him. About how you handled your umbrella, how you talked about your studies. And when you parted both of you ‘forgot’ to kiss, then you haven’t received your so much awaited text from him saying that he cannot stop thinking about you and it was his best lunch ever. You will remember. Your heart was right by shouting that it is a beginning of an end. But you didn’t want to listen. You didn’t because of ‘what if..’

 

And now you are here. All alone. All again. Without will to love, without heart to love, without hope to love.

 

No words can cheer you. Because the only thing that could was him.

 

And look at what has happened – he broke you. Like many others before him. Like many others after him.

 

And I swear by Almighty God that I will tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth – your heart will always know before your brain ever will that the relationship you are having might be scattered sooner than later.

 

When, ironically, all that you ever wanted was to love him..

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